Tuesday, March 31, 2015


While getting out of bed a while back (January, I believe) my foot got tangled in the quilt. I knew I was in for a fall so I relaxed. I had time since everything goes into slow motion when something like that is about to happen (at least it does for me).

Down I went, face first and it was a good thing since that’s where most of my padding is. Even though the floor is carpeted, I hit hard and the only sound I made was “OOOFF”! Once I regained my breath, I screamed “RICHARD!!!” He came running.

Somehow I ended up with most of my weight on my left side and my left arm was tucked under my left boob right above my ribs. For a few days I was in some pain but knew nothing was broken. Don’t ask me how I knew, I just did.

Recently I have noticed that my shih tzu has been having a little trouble jumping up on my bed at night. I thought I’d be a good mama and buy a stool to aid her.

The first night after I brought it home, I situated the stool exactly ‘just so’ on the side of my bed. When she was ready, she made a flying leap for the top of the bed, plowed into the stool on her way up (which didn’t last long) and went sprawling. To this day, she will not go near the monster that attacked her. So, I put the stool aside so I wouldn’t trip over it.

Today was such a beautiful day I decided to open the windows and my sliders to let in some fresh air. I opened the sliders which are in my bedroom, turned to walk out and, you guessed it! I fell over the stool that I forgot I had placed there not a week before!

As I was going down, I remember thinking I had to relax and I said out loud “I did it again” and I hit the floor. Only this time there was not only an “OOOFFF” but a crash as the shelves I hit on my way down relieved themselves of the framed photos on top plus a few other odds and ends in between. Richard came running. I had fallen in almost the same position as described above only more on my left side. My poor boob! I kept thinking “I can’t believe I did this again”. After a while I got up and since I was able to move my limbs (oops, rug burn on my knee) and my arms functioned and I was breathing, I figured I was good to go. Scared the hell out of Richard though!

On top of everything, I have discovered that I have EHS (Explosive Head Syndrome) and it is probably caused by the SSRI’s (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) I take on a daily basis for my anxiety and depression. This is no joke and will be a topic for another time.

Meanwhile, get the rubber room ready! I need protection from myself! 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014


It has been almost a year since I posted anything of significance to this blog and really, a lot has happened during that time frame.

I think in December of last year, I was lamenting the fact that Dr. T was going to retire and I was left with the task of finding her replacement after 27 years.

Dr. T had recommended a female doctor located in the Professional Building on the campus of IU West, my favorite hospital and medical center.  I did not end up with her but I am seeing one of the female doctors located in the same office.

Dr. C and I hit it off from the first minute she introduced herself to me.  I really like her bedside manner and her sense of humor is excellent.  She is young but at least, she will still be around for quite a while!

Under her care, I have lost a little weight and am off the Xanax (but I am still taking Escitalipram).  I have been feeling pretty awesome outside the fact of a little liver enzyme elevation which required a liver scan resulting in no disease or damage having been detected.  Well, no wonder.  My liver is well preserved and pickled to perfection!

I will be 74 years young in a few months and that’s pretty good considering I had always believed I wouldn’t live to see my thirtieth.  Peaches will be 10 in December, my granddaughter (18) is in her first year of college and my grandson is 15.

We still live in the same condo and I still shop at the World of Wally which is going to hell in a bass cart.  As I said, a lot of stuff has been going on but I won’t bore you with the details.

This will be my last post.


Friday, December 20, 2013


Ever have one of those periods of time when you don’t know whether to laugh or cry?  Not fun, I know!
I had an appointment to see my doctor this morning for my usual blood pressure check and to see if my heart was still beating.  BP was good; ticker still ticking.  But this appointment was totally different from the ones I’ve had with her over the last 27 years; it was to be my last.
The foxy lady turned 65 years old while my back was turned and she is retiring from practice the first of March, 2014!  I am so happy for her!  She wants to travel and see all the things she has missed.  Yea, laugh, laugh!
But wait a minute!  That leaves me without my trusted pal and physician!  She can’t leave!  Boo, sob, sob!
But not to worry!  She has set me up with a brand new physician (looks like a teenager) who has her office with another female physician in the professional building at my favorite hospital on the west side and only a five minute drive from my home!   Yea, laugh, laugh!
Dr. “T” and I said our good-byes since my next appointment is not due to be scheduled until April, 2014 and she will be “on the road” by then.  We thanked and wished each other the best with a huge, “I don’t want to let you go” hug.
Crap, I hate mixed emotions!

Monday, August 5, 2013


A photo of the t-shirt's left front shoulder mentioned below.  Strange!


No, this is not the recap of another dream of mine.  This was actually discovered this morning as I readied for my day.
I have (had) a favorite t-shirt that I liked to wear because it was large and comfy.  It happened to be one of the t-shirts featured and sold by the Marching Black and Gold for the year 2010.  I had worn it yesterday and had slung it over the arm of the stuffed chair in my bedroom last night before bed since it was clean enough to wear today.
When I got dressed this morning and while standing in front of my vanity mirror, I noticed something wrong with the left shoulder of my 2010 t-shirt.  Upon closer inspection, I saw a four inch patch of material that appeared to have been chewed, was once wet and now dry, with about five either claw or tooth holes in the middle of the whole mess.
You know how a cat will suckle on a blanket and knead it with its front paws?  That’s how it looked.  Only one problem; I don’t have a cat and my dog Peaches is far beyond the chewing stage that all puppies go through.  She will be nine years old in December and she had slept by my side almost the whole night until Richard came home from the movies and shut my door.
Anyway, now my favorite t-shirt is ruined and I have a mystery on my hands.  Just how in the world did it get ruined in the short period between my going to bed for the evening and this morning when I got up and dressed?
We do not have rodents in the building, nor moths or anything else living that could have made the holes and crusty looking patch on my shirt.  We do, however, have a spirit or two, one of which could be my long-deceased cat, Sasha.
If I ever figure out the answer to this mystery, I’ll certainly pass it on to you.  Meanwhile, I’ll ponder and wonder!

Monday, July 8, 2013


Long time, no see!  Yep, I’m still vertical, just as silly and totally out of my friggin’ mind!
As stated in earlier posts, I have controlled high blood pressure, low thyroid and suffer from anxiety and depression.  I take prescribed medications to treat all of the above.  Some of these meds cause me to have very strange dreams; for example:
I am in the living room of someone's home and there with me is a very strange acting toddler.  He has on bright blue footie jammies and seems to run, not walk to wherever he thinks he needs to be.  He has the nasty habit of hiding behind things and jumping out at people with his eyes bugging, showing an open mouth full of pointed, baby shark teeth and screaming BAAA!  He then tries to bite his intended victim and when unsuccessful, runs to hide and repeats the whole process over again.
Somewhere in the mayhem of trying to dodge these razor sharp teeth, my sister-in-law enters the room with an album of photos she insists on sharing while warding off the little monster whom she calls "Charlie".  This goes on for some time while intent on these photos I just "have to see":  BAAA!  Back off Charlie!  BAAA!  BAD Charlie!  BAAA!  CHARLIE!  BAAA!”
I dream almost nightly and these dreams are as varied as they are strange.  Is it any wonder that I wake up tired, sleep deprived and cranky?
I need a long, South Seas vacation sans meds!  BAAA!

Sunday, May 5, 2013


About 14 years ago, I opened up to my doctor about some of the feelings I had been having for years; anxiety, depression, anger, etc.  Why it took me so long to talk about these symptoms, only God knows for sure.
Anyway, she made the suggestion that I start taking Paxil to see if this could alleviate my "stress" and I agreed.  I think at this point I would have agreed to just about anything short of taking up drinking again.
My first week on the drug I felt like a new person!  I was happy, relaxed and had an interest in living.  Then on the eighth day, I woke up feeling odd.  As the day progressed, so did my anger and other feelings of wanting to destroy something.  If I had possessed a firearm and someone had walked up to me and looked cross-eyed at me, they would have been dead.  Simple as that!  I immediately called the doctor and was told to stop taking the Paxil that minute.  I did.
We scheduled another office visit and I was put on Lexapro.  After taking this drug for a period of time (samples furnished by my doctor), I was switched to Citalopram (generic for Celexa) because my insurance would not cover Lexapro and the doctor's samples were depleted.
I took the Citalopram until about two weeks ago.  During all that time which was a matter of quite a few years, I was doing fine, or so I thought.  It finally hit me that I had started losing the desire to do just about everything.  My attitude was getting worse by the day and I felt the old anger creeping up on me again.  Although I would never take my own life, thoughts of my own demise were front and foremost in my mind. I knew old age was not the culprit.  So, during my next visit to the doctor about two weeks ago, we discussed it all once again.
I had heard that during the past couple of years, they had developed a generic for Lexapro called, of all things, Escitalopram.  I asked to be put back on the old reliable Lexapro generic (proven to work during the "sample" period).  Also, my insurance company would cover the generic Escitalopram.  Hallelujah!  This stuff ain’t cheap!
After starting the medication in small doses two weeks ago, I immediately started to feel better.  I only have short periods of melancholy and the anger has all but subsided.  I still supplement with my anti-anxiety med which my doctor agreed I still needed.  I’ll be starting the recommended full dosage Monday.
Mental illness is a conscious, feeling, real wide-awake nightmare and should be taken seriously, addressed and treated.
Now, maybe I'll feel like taking an active part in my own life and will no longer be the schizoid bystander!